Wedding advice

These days, with only 339 days left before the wedding, I am pouring through wedding advice books. So far I have bought and read cover-to-cover three: Wedding Blessings by June Cotner, Words for the Wedding, by Wendy Paris and Andrew Chesler (I actually bought this 6 yrs ago for my brother's wedding, where I served as best man), and The New Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings, by Tess Ayers and Paul Brown. And I've also skimmed through dozens more, most of them verrrrrrry verrrrry focused on white monied heterosexuals.

In a way I'm glad that most of the books are irrelevant to me; I already have too much advice to sort through! And so many ideas! So many rituals and prayers and symbolic gestures! What if i want it it all?! A chuppah and a smashed glass, a maypole dance, a candle lighting ceremony, a sage burning ceremony, a water purification ritual for me and my bride, a water purification ritual for our rings, prayers and blessings from every religious tradition, songs and performances by all of my friends.. and we haven't even gotten to the heartfelt vows part yet. Jeesh.

The best advice I've seen so far though comes from The new Essential guide to Gay and Lesbian Wedding. Some samples here:

• bad news/good news: The Bad news: because homophobia still exists, not everyone you invite to your wedding will come. The Good news: because homophobia still exists, not everyone you invite to your wedding will come.
• sample RSVP: Dear Tess and Jane: ___Yes! I'd love to see 2 women get married. ___No... I'm liberal, but not that liberal. ____Sorry. I know I'm missing the party of the year, but I can't make it. Love, ________ please respond on or before May 30th 1992.
• And my Favorite advice to date, on narrowing down the invite list: "Do you really need to invite your entire UFO abductee support group, or can you pare it down to just the people who went up with you?