Scorned women, "The Family," and Uganda

Well it's looking like Elin, for reasons I truly cannot understand, has decided to try to work it out with Tiger. Word has it they are moving to a Swedish island and Tiger is taking a break from golf to do some intensive training in partner/parenthood. Elin has all the power at this point; it's clear that Tiger is doing crazy back bending flips to keep her. Good luck you two. Elin, I'm glad you will be on your home turf.

Meanwhile, Jenny Sanford, the wife of another famous philanderer, Gov. Mark Sanford, filed for divorce today. Unlike Tiger, who allegedly f-ed dozens of other women w/o the consent of his wife, Mark only did it with one. But he was in love with her, and probably still is. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/12/us/12sanford.html

BTW isn't it interesting how these photos above are so obviously staged; proper looking women on the arms of men (who do whatever they please behind their backs.)

Mark Sanford is also a member of "The Family" -- an international evangelical Christian organization that has recently been in the news due to its ties to the Ugandan "kill the gays" legislation (to use Rachel Maddow's term). The Family, and its affiliate, Youth with a Mission, believe strongly in the idea that marriage = one man + one woman. This is why Mark Sanford attempted to impeach Bill Clinton when he found out that Monica Lewinski gave Bill a blow job (and then kinda lied about it). It was outrageous, immoral behavior, certainly worthy of impeachment. That's also why Mark and his friends at The Family, like Rick Warren, have encouraged a form of Christianity on the African continent that is far more radical than the norm on US soil. It's a cool happy hunting ground for US  religious conservatives because in most African countries there is no equivalent of that pesky ACLU. They preached to the Ugandans and the Kenyans, and the Rwandans, and probably anyone else who would listen, that Africa must beware of the Gay Agenda. God does not like gays, they preach. Gay people can change if they want to, they preach. Therefore if they don't change, God hates them, and they will all go to hell.

None of those at the Family should be surprised that the Ugandan pastors (some of whom are also literally on a witchhunt against "witches") -- have decided to push for an anti-homosexual bill. the basic gist of it is this: If you're gay, and you do it more than once, you are executed. If you have HIV, you are executed. but if you are a man who gets married to a woman, you have God's blessing. This is why gay people are intrinsically flawed, unethical, and immoral, and should never allowed equal status.

This is also why Tiger Woods gets to immigrate --no questions asked about his relationship-- and settle to the nation with the best standard of living on earth, SWEDEN, with his gorgeous Swedish supermodel wife, and two children -- after f-ing dozens of women WITHOUT A CONDOM for years on end WITHOUT his wife's consent. This is because heterosexual marriage is what God likes.

I truly hope that Elin gets an HIV test ASAP and never, ever, has unprotected intercourse with Tiger again. And if either of them do test positive for HIV, because they're in Sweden, not Uganda, they fortunately won't be executed. But even if they for some strange reason decide to pick up and move to Uganda (even with HIV) I have full confidence that they would be treated like royalty. Because they are one man + one woman, and that is what God likes.

This week's Sapphic kiss goes to the children of Tiger and Elin, and Mark and Jenny. Kids, do not follow in the footsteps of your righteous, pampered, and protected parents. You of all people know that "God" has nothing to do with the social privileges of rich heteros like your parents. For the sake of your mental, sexual, and spiritual health, look for something more honest and ethical.